Sunday, February 25, 2007

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

It was the night before Thanksgiving back in Boston. You are getting all “dolled up” for a night out, a few “pops” and are excited to go out see and catch up with old and new friends. Being back for break means living with your mother and “step father” under one roof, one can do quite an amount of late night “tip toeing” around! Thank heavens the bedrooms are on opposite sides of the house!

The horn honks, “Mom, I’m leaving make sure you take Emis and Pasha out so they don’t pee or shit in the house!” “Okay, have fun and make sure you have your keys!” (However mom was safe not to ask, “Do you have money?” WHY, because if mom asked, any smart kid or hustler would lie say “NO” hoping to score a few extra funds for the night!) I hoped into Courtney’s ML 500. We decided to make a “pit stop” prior to heading downtown. Courtney and I took one look at each other and said “Met Bar”?
Now ladies all of us know being back home during Thanksgiving week and single could leave for quite the, adventure, fun and excitement!

It was 9pm and the night was just about to get started. We assumed Met bar was packed; the parking lot was jammed! The valet took the car. I just love the “suburbs,” complementary valet is a delightful treat! It must be our lucky night; Courtney and I walked in and scored two seats right at the bar. Before we could take our jackets off we recognized several familiar faces, oh know we both thought, are we in for a night! Get the bartender’s attention before we begun to start “mingling” we craved for our cocktails!

A few rounds of drinks later we decide to head to Mantra. Of course it’s always nice walking in and having Andrew and Cameron greeting us at the door! The music is cranked; it’s so good that I almost forgot I was in Boston! Thank g-d for our boys we were meeting there, we were so taken care of! It’s like having surrogate brothers; they had the best table in the house, in front on the dance floor. I got a cocktail and began doing a room “scan!” My eyes spot Courtney checking out an old and very handsome platonic friend, Alan.

Alan and Courtney have been friends for years. He went to public high school, she private. They were those two people that everyone knew always were “hot” for each other and had the, “oh I want to fuck you look” written on both there faces. But, the trigger had never been pulled. Periodically they’d see each other from time to time in, New York, Boston, and Palm Beach but no shot had been fired!

I quickly saw her zone in and focus on Alan; she was blushing from “cheek to cheek” with that innocent devilish smile! I rolled my eyes; my dirty mind starts to wonder, “Oh boy, this could be her “lucky” night, the shot she always wanted! It was beginning to get more “hot and steamy” in Mantra. Alan had spotted Courtney too and began to sway towards her. Neither of them was aware my “eagle eyes” were watching their every move! They “pecked” on the “lipchee”; I knew they really wanted the full lip, but coincidentally each kissed part of the cheek!

Mantra was packed, 1:45am hit. Knowing I had to be up at 8am and cook for my family of 15 I was getting ready to end the night. My Mom was forbidden to touch anything that required cooking except for the peas so that left all the cooking for me! The wine had settled in and my bed was calling.

I approached Courtney who was still “catching up” with Alan. “Hey, I’m going to the bathroom and then I want to leave.” Wait, “I have to go to the bathroom too, Alan please wait here I’ll be right back.” Now, I knew Alan was single; I got the “411” on him from my “brotherly boy’s.” MEN, do NOT be fooled we women can read your dirty minds more then you know! I knew Alan would be thinking either one of two scenario’s, he’s finally going to “hook up” with Courtney or his starvation will lead him to swinging by “News’s” for some late night steak tips! Either was a “win win!”

Down in the bathroom did we ladies talk! If Alan was open to “after hours” with Courtney which WE all knew was the case then, I would drive her car home, leave it in my driveway, and she could pick it up at her “leisure.” As we walked up the stairs from the bathroom Courtney caught Alan’s eye. “Let me go speak to him and see what his plans are for after hours and I’ll meet you at the Valet, Ok?” Well, his plan for after hours was in fact to hang out with Courtney. So our car plan went into effect!

My phone rings, its 6am. I purposely left the ringer on knowing she’d be calling. “I’m in your driveway, come down.” I through my Ugg’s and North Face on; I was ready to kill her for waking me up. BUT, of course hearing the details was SO out weighing the killing! BEFORE she could even spill the beans, it was WRITTEN all over her face! She blurbs out, “THE SEX WAS GREAT, BUT BOY DOES THE BOY NEED TO TRIM!” MEN please, if you are hairy TRIM up and try and do it the day before the cleaning lady comes! Just like most of you men hate hairy women WELL let the Maven clue you boys in, MOST women HATE “monkey men!”

Courtney explained what I already knew. The sex was amazing; there was such passion, heat, and warmth. Was it so satisfying because they’ve been friends and wanted each other for years? Is it because they knew one day would eventually happen? Or, how many of you out there have recently made “new friends” ones who are not so old that you really are attracted to both mentally and physically, have the “chemistry” with, become friends, hook up, and end up having “sex” with? What does this all mean? Is this considered a “friend with benefits?” Will it ever happen again?

Well, in Courtney and Alan’s case yes, it happened two more times, once in New York and another in, Palm Beach. They still remain friends today. Alan is married and Courtney is in a serious relationship. Courtney really had the “high school crush” for Alan and would have loved trying to be in a relationship. She always wondered and asked herself why he never “pursued” her or wanted to try a relationship with her, was it timing? Was it the long distance? After all she was in Miami and him, Atlanta. What was it?

Since so many people at one time or another have experienced something similar, I asked some girls in similar situations about their experiences. Most of the women told me that deep down they had feelings beyond friendships for the guys but the men never tried for anything more serious. Men, do you not know when a woman likes you more then a friend with benefits? Why do most men not pursue a friend with “benefits” as relationship material? After all, the sex is good, both of you obviously like and are attracted to each other as friends and more. SO the Maven wants to know, WHY don’t you men go after the girl? Why not try to date a “friend with benefits” and see what happens? Why does it supposedly stop with just “benefits” and nothing more?

Friday, February 23, 2007

NICE GUYS STILL CHEAT?

Do nice guys "cheat?" Why do men and women cheat? Is it like the saying because, “the grass is always greener on the other side?” My phone rings, YES (the phone actually not a door opening and closing with a yellow guy running) Its Nicolas, my nice brotherly guy friend that I never hooked up with, late 30s, from Florida, single and dating, self made, and always charming and nice to the ladies!

Ladies love nice guys, like the guys who always make sure they’ve gotten their “digits” before ending the conversation if, you initially met “online” or, if you were at a bar/event/party and were introduced. In today’s world, just like men, women are President’s and CEO’s of companies and is working in the corporate faced paced industry. Even though women make important daily decisions in the work place, THIS does not mean they want to start deciding, Sushi Samba vs. Bond St in the relationship!

Since we all come from different streams in life, and living in NYC streams maybe referred to as “streets” a man should be considerate of a woman when choosing a spot for the first date. I mean seriously guys, if you are coming from Wall St and her from the Upper East Side, are you truly going to make her subway it to you or worse at 6pm, “taxi” it? Your answer hopefully is “NO, I would never think to make a women “schlep” to me on a first date!” But, (circumstances come up and one may have to be back at the office after dinner and if that is the case, DO NOT schedule a date on one of those nights!) Well it wasn’t one of those back to the office nights, so MEN ZONE IN and if you plan to ask a girl out for a drink/date, pick a place in the middle, be CONSIDERATE and COMPROMISING! And so what if it’s not the latest trendy spot, it’s not about the place, it’s about meeting the girl!

You end up at the W in Union Sq. Good spot! If the date goes well you can be a real gentleman and ask her if she’d like to grab a bite…the Tuna Tar Tar app is REALLY good there! Of course this is only if you are enjoying yourself and hanging out with her even if “heat” isn't cranking and you're not "aroused!"

Getting to the point of "arousal" is amazing and quite exciting although, the question still remains how long does that feeling last? I mean anyone who has been in a serious relationship for more then 3 month’s and can keep “the honeymoon” and “spice” alive is on a pretty good drive and not the drive at Chelsea Piers!

But what happens when that drive starts to hit bumps? You really care about each other but more and more bumps keep getting hit and, you can’t stay focused and in your lane. DETOUR a night out with the boyz is required. Men, going out while in a relationship with bumps in the road can be either a WAKE UP CALL or DEADLY!

Its Midnight on a Thursday night, quick bite at Yama then taxied down to the meatpacking district! Few drinks in the boys, sake with sushi, asking Mr. Cabby to turn up the tunes, the boys start to get there “groove” on and start to get "chatty.” Now, if any girl believes guys do not talk to other guys about there relationship or women “issues”, then ladies WRONG you are. MEN TALK. MEN TALK TO EACH OTHER. MEN CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER. MEN TALK TO OTHER GIRL FRIENDS AND, MEN CHEAT IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER too.

Nicolas and his friend end up having a “hot” night out. They end up running into a few “girl FRIENDS” and invited them to come to Pink Elephant. Now gent’s all us ladies know that it’s much easier for you to get into Pink with the ladies and MEN, it's always better to go out as a duo then trio or quarto unless, mixed with the opposite sex like this case!)

A table had been got along with 3 bottles at $400 a pop. The music couldn’t be better, more friends joined and you and the girls are having a let “loose/goose” night! Brining sexy back comes on, you grab Nicole from dancing on the chair and you move towards the dance floor. It’s getting hot in here comes on next, you 2 are SO into the dance/song/vodka and "each other" that you forget all your “relationship shit” and lean into her and kiss. ALARM goes off! Your heart starts racing but your mouths stay attached, you finish the long, hard, passionate kiss, liked you hadn’t kissed that way in the last 3 months knowing deep down the relationship you’re in isn’t right “long term” and is about to crash and burn when you don't call to say you're home at 4am or worse just send a "text", because you end up doing more harm by going home with the girl! Putting all these “actions” into “motion,” "sets the stage" for an easy break-up! However, all said and done, STILL, IS this kiss considered cheating???????????????? A kiss with another girl while dating 1 girl for 4 months, IS THIS CONSIDERED CHEATING, the Maven asks all you MEN and WOMEN.

While discussing this topic with my step sister and friend, my step sister said, “If you don’t think you are going to marry the guy then, it was just a kiss, then NO it’s not cheating.” Well readers I want to know how many of you think this is considered cheating and, my Maven advice to all is, if there is no deep connection felt with a girl and you do NOT want to treat this girl amazing and you are kissing other girls at “Pink Elephant” then you should think REAL hard about not being selfish and cutting your losses before hurting the girl by cheating or worse, lying and getting caught in the end! Better to come out as the “nice guy” then as a complete piece of smelly trash.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Raging Hormones!

Everyone has hormones...girls have lots of them. And, anyone with said hormones knows that hooking up with a guy, whether it’s a one-night-thing (you may meet him out and end up going home together), or a friend-with-benefits (that may or may not carry the possibility of leading to something more), is USUALLY fun and “hormone satisfying.” BUT sadly, there are those times when the “hook up” can lead to women becoming disappointed and annoyed (often within a 6 hour time frame from doing the deed).

For instance take one recent Saturday night out in the city. Amy and I got all dolled up in our sexy tops, Hudson jeans, and Manolos, which will probably need a trip to the shoe man on Lexington for “clean up.” The taxi dropped us off at 15th and 9th and we were ready to go party and dance, get giddy, flirt, and have some innocent old fashioned fun. Long story short, our “old fashioned” girl duo ended up with extra number and gender to our “duo”, and losing its "innocence" by the end of the night.

At the party my eagle eyes spotted a hot, sexy man at the end of the bar. I thought, WOW I’d sure like to meet him somehow...and so I did. Yes, girls, you SHOULD just approach him, just do it; what’s the worst thing that could happen you get rejected and instead of grabbing him you grab another shot! But luckily, you and he hit it off, and he even had a friend for your friend! How convenient!

Our newly formed foursome ended in hopping around from 10 Jun to Marquee and down 27th Street, having an evening full of surprises! Then fancy to my fortune, I ended up home with the guy. Boy, this boy had hormones too...hormones? Meet mine.

Here's the thing see, most girls/people/everyone won't say after all is said and done, it's 50/50 hooking up which means you end up having sex with the guy. WHAT?! SEX?! on the first not-even-date but meeting? I blame the hormones. As long as discretion and protection attend the dirty drunk parties then let’s just admit it's the truth. Now from a guy’s point of view, how do you men classify girls that have “drunken” sex with you? Passionate? Whores? A fun chick? We girls would like to have some insight please!

Now we all know the guy isn't thinking about anything but, we women NEVER stop thinking or analyzing, no matter how much we have poured on our brains: Is the guy just looking for a lay? Should I roll with it, as we roll this inhibition of defeating the joint? He sure is cute and sexy...after we hook up, will he ever call me again? Will I hook up with him again? How many days will pass before I’ll hear from him again if in fact I ever do ever speak to him again? AND so on. Men why is it you hook up with girls and then don’t reach back out? Please any insight would be much appreciated! Guys its time to share your thoughts and experiences!

FACT: Guys think with their dicks and not what’s sitting on their heads. They love to play, they love the caressing, and the kissing, and the feeling of warmth that a woman gives them, and then the “cumming.” Women also love the feeling of a man cradling them, spooning them throughout the night, falling asleep and waking up at 4am to get some more “action.” It's all wonderful excitement when it’s going on, but often these feelings are temporary and fleeting and not “reality.” Sometimes, a hook up or fun nights are JUST that-ONE night. We women rationalize our impulsive actions by thinking this person might be “The One”. We think WOW; he just might be the prince I’ve been searching for. Well GIRLS, dreaming doesn't make it true, HE ISN’T.

You leave his apartment in the AM do the “walk of shame” out, past the doorman and into the streets of New York to hale a taxi. You phone doesn’t ring, no text is heard and he ends up never contacting you again which, leaves you in despair. You decide you can’t control yourself anymore, and you flip your cell open so you can shoot him an innocent “text or email.” HOWEVER, NEVER “directly” call him. Shooting him a “text/email” is harmless. We hear from men, time and time again how they think and perceive us at Nuts, Crazy and Stalkers, so my Maven advice would be to not call and wait a few weeks for him to contact you. If then after a few weeks go by and you are still thinking about him then maybe you can “text or email” him and see the response you get. If he is polite and leaves the door “open” he should respond, if he is a dick, no response will be and you long term don’t want to end up with someone like that anyhow!

FACT II: BUT, We all know and if a guy truly likes a girl or was ready for a “relationship” he will contact her sooner rather then “later.”

However what did that night mean? What really happened? Was it the wine/vodka/shots that just over powered our minds and let it get the best of both of us? Will we both wake up grabbing the Fiji and Advil to cure the massive hangover and try to relieve that feeling of “what did I do?” Why didn’t I just go home, make a quick pit stop by Pizza 33, put on sweats, play with Pasha and fall asleep? Well I’m sure more of us have been in this type of situation before and will again until we find our prince that won’t let us leave the next morning without asking us out again or even better we end up spending the day together starting with a brush of the teeth, shower, and change of clothes. Then the prince picks you up and you go to brunch at Sarabeth’s! That's a day fit for a prince (and princess) if you ask me!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

CHANGING A MAN

Have you ever wanted to change a man? Well, if you haven’t then you might be the first. I often wish I could combine every ex-boyfriend in a mixing bowl, taking a little of this and a little of that from each. I'd then pour my "man mixture" into a perfect guy mold.

What I'm trying to say is, I've wished I could change a man more than once and it has never cooked up quite right.

When I first meet a guy, I can't help but assess his looks and personality. In some cases I might feel some “sex appeal.” BUT, if he isn't quite doing it for me, I wonder what he’d be like if only he was just a bit more outgoing or personable or had some slick moves... and I might wish he dressed more GQ or Zenga and less Kenneth Cole. Then there are those traits that shift my initial impression from 350 degrees to cooling, like consideration and generosity. And let's not leave out manners, especially table manners. If he pushes food onto his fork with his fingers or sucks it off them my impression will definitely change. He'll go from Cordon Bleu to jello mold, eeeeeeuuuw.

If you start out from the very first wanting to change the guy, then I truly believe you will never be fully satisfied with what (or who) you have found. There is that old saying, “people can grow on you.” But so can mold grow on some spoiled food. The only time someone grows on you is when you’ve had an existing friendship with a person and somehow the burner ignites. Your friendship turns into a romantic liaison and your eyes begin to “pop open.” Generally though, attraction from the get go is a major important PLUS! There is no more euphoric feeling than looking at a man with dreamy eyes and imagining what it’s like to make out with him.

I truly believe you will never be fully satisfied with what you have found if you are trying to change a guy. He may not be “gorgeous,” or the most “well dressed,” but if he treats you well and is respectful and has a great personality and good manners he may be worth a shot! HOWEVER...

Do not be fooled: Manners, personality, and generosity are NOT changeable traits. It’s like chicken soup; you can't make it without chicken stock! It’s the LITTLE things that can be changed- clothes, hair style, weight... the major ingredients if they're bad can't be fixed. My Maven advice to all is, if in the beginning of your dating cycle there are MAJOR flaws about the guy that bother you, I suggest you MOVE ON to the next possible prospect. Maybe the next one will be the most perfect, yummy dish you've ever had.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

NO CALL BACK

You go out with, what appears to you, a great date and guy. The date lasts for longer than coffee or your typical drink and the two of you seem to be hitting it off and end up having dinner and hitting “10Jun.” The guy expresses to you, "I had a great time. I'll call you this week and we'll get together.” Perhaps he'll call then again AND MAYBE HE WON'T. The Call Back can be played out in several ways:
Scenario A: He calls, you make plans and he cancels and never reschedules. This is the tentative guy who is indecisive about whether he likes you, or not. As your mind starts to wonder about why he canceled, the truth could be because he’s already involved with someone else and doesn't want to complicate this by going out with you a second time. But, enough with the excuses we’ve all had plenty of those...if he really liked you and was “into you”, there would be that second date and you would hear back and see him again.

Scenario B: There is No Call Back, period. Apparently your feelings about your date were different then his. Let’s pretend you both go for ice cream, you like sugar free and plain and all he wants was the sugar, carbs, toppings and everything he could get his mouth and hands into! Move on and don't second guess. Unless however it benefits you or if a good hook up is needed or some fun, no strings intended, crazy wild night! But really this guy obviously is a waste of time and energy and digits should be erased from your PDA, CELLS, or OUTLOOK!

Now girls, if Scenario A or B is recurrently happening to you, make a list of why you thought your date was good; a he said, she said, pro and con; and compare any recurring patterns of behavior that emerge that will give you hindsight as to why no "second chances.”

And, Scenario C: They call weeks later, or shoot a text message at 3 a.m. the “booty text” to say "what up". This is usually the immature, had too many drinks party asshole who just wants to get laid! Maybe he calls the next morning when he sobers up to apologize so you don’t think he’s a complete ass and asks to make another plan, which he inevitably will never keep. Forget this piece of trash; he’s just not worth thinking about or wasting your valuable time and red bull energy!

Most women, at one point or another, have gone out with a guy that they’ve met on an online site, had a fun time with, and never hear back from the date again. This is like a hot trendy restaurant, you try it out, small portions, over priced and WAY overrated. Now you’ve hit it, time to “self examine!” Maybe you didn't hook up with the guy, maybe you did. Many guys out there who are single and dating are simply looking to score; well then, they should just go to “scores.” Certain men don't want or feel they have to make the effort to pursue a woman for a multitude of reasons which I’ll get into at another time. But, analyze your behavior patterns from these types of dates. What was it about you that turned the guy off rather than drew him back for more? What signals did you give, consciously or subliminally? And it may not have been you at all he just could be that complete selfish, conceited, typical player of a man which you definitely do NOT want to end up with.

If a man truly enjoys a woman and wants to make the time and effort in getting to “know her” then he will give her a second chance. Women have to be like “onions;” mysterious and let the guys peel away the layers. Don't initially spill over at the mouth and tell all even though we know most women can’t “bite it.” Men who surf the dating sites are usually pretty busy and, according to their profiles, (which is another whole topic for discussion another time) are just trying to meet that "special someone.” However, as we all are aware, there are still those horny assholes just looking to feed their horniness! I prefer feeding my horniness with a nice slice at 3am and waiting for the Toad instead of the average “frog.” But, woman should not treat every "good time" date as Mr. Right and start planning the “wedding”. Typically a man can sense this anxiety, even when nothing is said. So, ladies my suggestion to you is, instead of thinking was it me? And, not truly believing that it was, start to think maybe it was “you.” If you liked the guy, perhaps something you said or did turned him off. Make that Behavior List and be honest and true with yourself. Sometimes the answers lie within and are found by being introspective. Think about how you can modify some of your behavior and mannerisms to entice the next guy. Be honest, real, and smart about you and your dating success should follow.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Critical Mothers

My special and endearing Mother (I do LOVE her & she is my best friend) but Mom tends to voice her opinions about everything, from this is wrong to that should be changed, to I don’t like you in that color to why can’t you find a man? You go out with all these guys, aren’t any of them NICE? To, Why didn’t you like him, he seemed very “nice.” You spoke enough on the phone for the past several weeks. Oh, and that brings me to just because you speak with a guy on the phone and computer for weeks and “click” with him does NOT mean you will want a 2nd date OR to rip off his clothes and get wild with him in the sack!

My mother for years told me I’m “critical” and that I’m just like my grandmother. WELL it’s a wonder where I learned it from. Now I realize my mother is WORSE then me, (even though I love her and take what she says’s with a grain of salt!) this is what made me be such a picky little Maven about everything. I only want to look the best, be the best, write the best, find the best man and, WOW now I come to the realization that it’s all stemming from my grandmother to mother to now ME. Oh dear, what did they create?

Why are they so critical? Why do they think every guy I meet that I say is “nice” is the “one” and they want to marry me off, forget even marry off, they say if he was "nice", then why not go on a 2nd date and get to know him? Anyone can be “nice” but that does NOT mean you want to entertain that 2nd date let alone think about even walking down the aisle with this guy.

Nice is so generic. My shoes are “nice”, that was a “nice” restaurant, and I had a “nice” date last night. I want more then just the average “nice” from a man. Do you know I’ve never heard my mother say WOW now that was a very “special guy, you’re glowing; you must have had a VERY nice time, something is different about you this time.” Well that feeling hasn’t happened to me yet, so I still stand in my pretty shoes waiting to meet that “special guy.”

Sunday, February 4, 2007

IF I NEVER WAS AN INTERNET DATER.....

So it's a Sunday in Boston, I'm hung over from attending a Jewish charity event in Southie the evening before. Pasha(the dating princess bichon frise) and I are vegetating upstairs in bed, and trying to not eat the bagels, lox, and cream cheese Channel brought.

Mom and Emis (her son she never had and prince bichon frise)come upstairs to "hang out." The phone rings, it was a number I recognized from Bear Sterns. I pick up the phone and said "hello?, he replied, "Is Laura there?" I said, "this is she", I could tell it was a man, he sounded a little on the wise ass side, but then again, more times then not I tend to like a cocky(confident) guy. Who shouldn't? All that it shows is that the man takes charge and shows strength. Well he said, "Richard gave me your name and number because I'm in need for an apartment and you're "hot shot" broker with Corcoran." I said, "oh he did, did he?" "Ah, he didn't tell me you'd be calling, but sure,I'd love to help you find a place"! We went through the list I tend to ask any potential clients their, budget, salary, employment, location they are looking for, and all there contact info."

Dylan, he said. He gave me his phone number, work email and then proceeded to also making sure I had his personal email, an AOL email, my mouth opens up wide, I whack my mother's arm, and blurb out to him, "OMG we've spoken before, I have you on my AIM, we met on an online site!"

He replies, "Really, that is right, well I need a place, can you help?" He was HOT, I saw from his picture, "I said, SURE, you're in very good hands." He went onto call me his "full service real estate broker."

My mother was dying from this conversation, she couldn't believe it, the six degrees of separation yet again appears. Wow, I cannot believe we had spoken before this was insane. He suggested we meet at his place so I could get an idea of what he was looking for and the space he needed. I thought to myself, hot guy, apartment, buyer, customer, friend, connection, hook up, whatever I set up the appointment! This just is another example that you'll never know where it is your paws will land and go! Pasha by the way likes to steer hers towards Bloomies she thinks she'll attract a cutie in the men's department!

ONLINE CAN NOT ONLY BE TO MEET SINGLES BUT FOR HELP TOO!

So last night yet again I found myself surfing around online for singles, this is after my "couple" friends, Dean and Mandy stopped before going on their big night out for a few Bellini's. They'd asked me to join but I it was too cold out and the thought of motivating off the sofa and bundling up Vs. sitting on my sofa and hanging with Pasha wasn't even a debate!

As I started to "surf" away, I stumbled upon this profile. His screen name was Yonaton, figured he was Israeli with a name like that. Usually I tend to stick with Americans just because I think relationships are hard enough. See my fellow singles when you throw different cultures into the stew things tend to become more complicated, how are you raising the kids, parent involvement gets heightened, you'll hear your future "inlaws" say, "I don't want to hear about that kid being baptised or baby named or having bris." Oh dear, how do couples survive this "religon pressure?" All these issues eventually will cause tension in your relationship, trust me on this, I've heard it all from everyone in a "mixed religon" relationship. And I've been there myself, my past experience/relationship of dating a "South American." Great guy and yes, still friends but not a couple anymore!

But this Yonaton looked cute, so I figured what the heck. I went on to read his profile, dark, Israeli, moved to NY a year ago, and he was in the technology/computer industry.

WOW, this young lad is a computer "Wiz." I thought if anything this is just what I could use, someone who I didn't need to meet for coffee or a drink, but he would be able to help me in getting my Dating Diva website up and running. I immediately emailed him and within seconds he replied, "Diva? I'd be happy to assist you." I was like can you PLEASE meet me tomorrow, he agreed and came at noon. PHEW! One step closer to the cyber world of having my own site. WOW it's been years I've wanted to do this and finally still single, independent and free for a Sunday afternoon all this computer work was ready and waiting for me, it could be a nice Sunday break from surfing around the single online sites.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

AN ARCTIC SATURDAY IN NYC

So I woke up early this morning after my long and very hectic week of filming. Was scheduled to see Lisa for a mani! After a mani, cabbed it to the West side for back to back appointments on the 1 bed coop between WEA and RSD.

All the appointments went surprisingly well, a shocker that was! All the customers were punctual, and actually showed interest my Southern facing 1 bedroom, sadly still no offers.

Enthusiastic about my piece on Online Dating live on the set airing in 2 weeks proudly mention it to everyone I encounter including from my whole office to all my clients from today a total of 8 more viewers will be watching and gaining advice from online dating.

Linda, a broker with Halstead, was sitting in the lobby waiting to show her clients the apartment. But upon introductions I managed to wedge it in about my debut. It was obvious that Linda could not ask me enough questions as she had been online dating herself and hence yet we find her still single. My advice to her was, stick with it and do NOT trust the photos they do not TELL the truth 99% all of the time! If you click with the person either via email, texting, anything where actual holding a phone and speaking doesn't happen, then meet for the date!

Photos, profiles, age, everything that goes into the stew of posting on an online dating site does not often speak with is the actual case when face to face. Personalities can be fabricated, guys who think they're "normal" are often loud, annoying, and like a pretty pair of shoes that looked better on the rack then on!

It was soon approaching my last appointment, a single, 41 year old Jewish girl, from New York, never married and was scared to post a profile because she was a principal. I told her not to be ridiculous or foolish. What if she was a divorced mother would that hold her back, a kid is a kid whether he/she has your DNA or not. She smiled and I saw her more relaxed and now open to posting a profile of herself online. As we kept walking she was going to her mom and I was headed like a wrapped up snow bunny to the Time Warner to meet yet another "prospect."

I was so frigid that I had to hale a taxi, oh don't you love it when you are really pumped about seeing a taxi with it's yellow light on. Approaching the Time Warner we were meeting in front of Pink, oh what a great store! He was there, yes, tall, yes green eyes, yes he told me he was on the heavier side, but more then the seasonal 10-20 pounds, I said, "hey Jordan" he turned and at first I was like oh boy another one bits the dust, and thought this will be a short lived date.

Jordan did not make himself out to be something he wasn't, except for the fact his 2 pics didn't really look too much like him. We strolled around the Warner, got verbena and green tea at Starbucks, and then he had the unexpected surprise of running into my cousins. WOW I'm Shocked, in my head I was thinking, oh god, what if they ask how we know each other, which knowing them they will ask, what will I say, what will he say, how will he be, will he lie? It was my mom's first cousin and his daughter with her little pumpkins! It was cold enough I think if it was near Halloween time, there would be no pumpkins they'd all freeze! But he came over, actually really was calm and let me do my socializing, catching up and of course little family gossip!

After he met the whole entourage we then continued to get to know each other. From our prior 1 phone conversation, I did think to myself that he wasn't where I would like a guy (I'll never call them men, they'll always be "guys" keeps me young at heart) to be stability wise. He was smart, went to Franklin and Marshall, and to BU grad, oh Boston my big fish little sea city, at times I do wish how I loved my Thursday night at Abe's and Met bar or Saturdays at Mistral, that tuna tar tar is undoubable the best I've had btwn east and west coasts! But since I'm still single living in NY I will stick to the restaurants here and hop to my next date who will hopefully make it to a 2nd and hopefully he'll pick a place wt tuna tar tar.

Dating Diva

Friday, February 2, 2007

Dating Online - Are Men actually telling the Truth?

Well let me begin that I have been dating online for the past ten years. Since I've been 21 and yet I find myself still single. This week I was asked to do a feature on the Dr. Keith Ablow Show (The piece will air in 2 weeks and of course I will let you all know the date). I will be discussing my experience on online dating. Stay tuned!

Having been on many dates throughout the years, I have now determined what it is that i ACTUALLY want from and in a man. Determining your wants in my opinion is a MAJOR step in going about finding your "dream guy." See, since it was at 21 that I started online dating, I have met many types of men. From short, to bald (I tend to usually stay away from the short and bald) but sometimes you will find a guy where there picture is SO old from there college years we all know the hair thins as men age and that they have fabicated the truth about there looks. Which brings me to the "online dating fear"; are the picture postings there actual looks or are the men portraying themselves as something there not. If it the men aren't be "honest" upfront well my feeling is that truly isn't a great way to begin a "relationship."

Dating Diva