CHANGING A MAN

Have you ever wanted to change a man? Well, if you haven’t then you might be the first. I often wish I could combine every ex-boyfriend in a mixing bowl, taking a little of this and a little of that from each. I'd then pour my "man mixture" into a perfect guy mold.

What I'm trying to say is, I've wished I could change a man more than once and it has never cooked up quite right.

When I first meet a guy, I can't help but assess his looks and personality. In some cases I might feel some “sex appeal.” BUT, if he isn't quite doing it for me, I wonder what he’d be like if only he was just a bit more outgoing or personable or had some slick moves... and I might wish he dressed more GQ or Zenga and less Kenneth Cole. Then there are those traits that shift my initial impression from 350 degrees to cooling, like consideration and generosity. And let's not leave out manners, especially table manners. If he pushes food onto his fork with his fingers or sucks it off them my impression will definitely change. He'll go from Cordon Bleu to jello mold, eeeeeeuuuw.

If you start out from the very first wanting to change the guy, then I truly believe you will never be fully satisfied with what (or who) you have found. There is that old saying, “people can grow on you.” But so can mold grow on some spoiled food. The only time someone grows on you is when you’ve had an existing friendship with a person and somehow the burner ignites. Your friendship turns into a romantic liaison and your eyes begin to “pop open.” Generally though, attraction from the get go is a major important PLUS! There is no more euphoric feeling than looking at a man with dreamy eyes and imagining what it’s like to make out with him.

I truly believe you will never be fully satisfied with what you have found if you are trying to change a guy. He may not be “gorgeous,” or the most “well dressed,” but if he treats you well and is respectful and has a great personality and good manners he may be worth a shot! HOWEVER...

Do not be fooled: Manners, personality, and generosity are NOT changeable traits. It’s like chicken soup; you can't make it without chicken stock! It’s the LITTLE things that can be changed- clothes, hair style, weight... the major ingredients if they're bad can't be fixed. My Maven advice to all is, if in the beginning of your dating cycle there are MAJOR flaws about the guy that bother you, I suggest you MOVE ON to the next possible prospect. Maybe the next one will be the most perfect, yummy dish you've ever had.