Have you ever wanted to change a man? Well, if you haven’t then you might be the first. I often wish I could combine every ex-boyfriend in a mixing bowl, taking a little of this and a little of that from each. I'd then pour my "man mixture" into a perfect guy mold.
What I'm trying to say is, I've wished I could change a man more than once and it has never cooked up quite right.
When I first meet a guy, I can't help but assess his looks and personality. In some cases I might feel some “sex appeal.” BUT, if he isn't quite doing it for me, I wonder what he’d be like if only he was just a bit more outgoing or personable or had some slick moves... and I might wish he dressed more GQ or Zenga and less Kenneth Cole. Then there are those traits that shift my initial impression from 350 degrees to cooling, like consideration and generosity. And let's not leave out manners, especially table manners. If he pushes food onto his fork with his fingers or sucks it off them my impression will definitely change. He'll go from Cordon Bleu to jello mold, eeeeeeuuuw.
If you start out from the very first wanting to change the guy, then I truly believe you will never be fully satisfied with what (or who) you have found. There is that old saying, “people can grow on you.” But so can mold grow on some spoiled food. The only time someone grows on you is when you’ve had an existing friendship with a person and somehow the burner ignites. Your friendship turns into a romantic liaison and your eyes begin to “pop open.” Generally though, attraction from the get go is a major important PLUS! There is no more euphoric feeling than looking at a man with dreamy eyes and imagining what it’s like to make out with him.
I truly believe you will never be fully satisfied with what you have found if you are trying to change a guy. He may not be “gorgeous,” or the most “well dressed,” but if he treats you well and is respectful and has a great personality and good manners he may be worth a shot! HOWEVER...
Do not be fooled: Manners, personality, and generosity are NOT changeable traits. It’s like chicken soup; you can't make it without chicken stock! It’s the LITTLE things that can be changed- clothes, hair style, weight... the major ingredients if they're bad can't be fixed. My Maven advice to all is, if in the beginning of your dating cycle there are MAJOR flaws about the guy that bother you, I suggest you MOVE ON to the next possible prospect. Maybe the next one will be the most perfect, yummy dish you've ever had.
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2 comments:
"Changing a Man" How about
" Changing a Woman". Ladies, Ladies, Ladies: I must share a quick dating experience..... So I went on a couple dates with this very cool girl. Very attractive, Funny, cool, smart, etc...A great few dates however 1 small thing was definately bothering me.... That is, She always wanted to go to the most expensive restaurants and never once would offer to pick up the check... Now with that said...Ofcoarse I would not let her pay however after 4 dinner dates, you would think she would either offer to pay or choose a restaurant that isnt going to cost me $250 for dinner.. So the buck stopped there.. Spent $250 for dinner.. and realized I needed a couple dollars to tip the valet.. I said sweetie all I have is a $100 bill.. do u have a couple dollars. She responded, I only have a $20 but I am sure the waiter can break your $100 bill... In shock. Well needless to say for those of you reading... Most guys will almost always pick up the check, but its sure goes a long way to atleast offer and even nicer to sometimes pick a restaurant that even you could afford to go to and pay... Lesson learned the expensive way!
Not all women are this way..that's for sure however you always run into a few..
From a Maven I 100% agree with your point of view. It's nice to know that MOST men will always pick up the bill HOWEVER, it's down right RUDE for any woman not to at least "offer" or after several dates to do something "generous" in return, i.e., buy the man a small gift to show her appreciation or bring over a bottle of wine to his house prior to going out. Anything just as a token of appreciation! Now, women this is from a MAN, so my Maven advice to you is, if this is how you act, you better "tweek" yourself and start being a little more appreciative...good guys are hard to find and this man seems like he is a "good guy."
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