NICE GUYS STILL CHEAT?

Do nice guys "cheat?" Why do men and women cheat? Is it like the saying because, “the grass is always greener on the other side?” My phone rings, YES (the phone actually not a door opening and closing with a yellow guy running) Its Nicolas, my nice brotherly guy friend that I never hooked up with, late 30s, from Florida, single and dating, self made, and always charming and nice to the ladies!

Ladies love nice guys, like the guys who always make sure they’ve gotten their “digits” before ending the conversation if, you initially met “online” or, if you were at a bar/event/party and were introduced. In today’s world, just like men, women are President’s and CEO’s of companies and is working in the corporate faced paced industry. Even though women make important daily decisions in the work place, THIS does not mean they want to start deciding, Sushi Samba vs. Bond St in the relationship!

Since we all come from different streams in life, and living in NYC streams maybe referred to as “streets” a man should be considerate of a woman when choosing a spot for the first date. I mean seriously guys, if you are coming from Wall St and her from the Upper East Side, are you truly going to make her subway it to you or worse at 6pm, “taxi” it? Your answer hopefully is “NO, I would never think to make a women “schlep” to me on a first date!” But, (circumstances come up and one may have to be back at the office after dinner and if that is the case, DO NOT schedule a date on one of those nights!) Well it wasn’t one of those back to the office nights, so MEN ZONE IN and if you plan to ask a girl out for a drink/date, pick a place in the middle, be CONSIDERATE and COMPROMISING! And so what if it’s not the latest trendy spot, it’s not about the place, it’s about meeting the girl!

You end up at the W in Union Sq. Good spot! If the date goes well you can be a real gentleman and ask her if she’d like to grab a bite…the Tuna Tar Tar app is REALLY good there! Of course this is only if you are enjoying yourself and hanging out with her even if “heat” isn't cranking and you're not "aroused!"

Getting to the point of "arousal" is amazing and quite exciting although, the question still remains how long does that feeling last? I mean anyone who has been in a serious relationship for more then 3 month’s and can keep “the honeymoon” and “spice” alive is on a pretty good drive and not the drive at Chelsea Piers!

But what happens when that drive starts to hit bumps? You really care about each other but more and more bumps keep getting hit and, you can’t stay focused and in your lane. DETOUR a night out with the boyz is required. Men, going out while in a relationship with bumps in the road can be either a WAKE UP CALL or DEADLY!

Its Midnight on a Thursday night, quick bite at Yama then taxied down to the meatpacking district! Few drinks in the boys, sake with sushi, asking Mr. Cabby to turn up the tunes, the boys start to get there “groove” on and start to get "chatty.” Now, if any girl believes guys do not talk to other guys about there relationship or women “issues”, then ladies WRONG you are. MEN TALK. MEN TALK TO EACH OTHER. MEN CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER. MEN TALK TO OTHER GIRL FRIENDS AND, MEN CHEAT IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER too.

Nicolas and his friend end up having a “hot” night out. They end up running into a few “girl FRIENDS” and invited them to come to Pink Elephant. Now gent’s all us ladies know that it’s much easier for you to get into Pink with the ladies and MEN, it's always better to go out as a duo then trio or quarto unless, mixed with the opposite sex like this case!)

A table had been got along with 3 bottles at $400 a pop. The music couldn’t be better, more friends joined and you and the girls are having a let “loose/goose” night! Brining sexy back comes on, you grab Nicole from dancing on the chair and you move towards the dance floor. It’s getting hot in here comes on next, you 2 are SO into the dance/song/vodka and "each other" that you forget all your “relationship shit” and lean into her and kiss. ALARM goes off! Your heart starts racing but your mouths stay attached, you finish the long, hard, passionate kiss, liked you hadn’t kissed that way in the last 3 months knowing deep down the relationship you’re in isn’t right “long term” and is about to crash and burn when you don't call to say you're home at 4am or worse just send a "text", because you end up doing more harm by going home with the girl! Putting all these “actions” into “motion,” "sets the stage" for an easy break-up! However, all said and done, STILL, IS this kiss considered cheating???????????????? A kiss with another girl while dating 1 girl for 4 months, IS THIS CONSIDERED CHEATING, the Maven asks all you MEN and WOMEN.

While discussing this topic with my step sister and friend, my step sister said, “If you don’t think you are going to marry the guy then, it was just a kiss, then NO it’s not cheating.” Well readers I want to know how many of you think this is considered cheating and, my Maven advice to all is, if there is no deep connection felt with a girl and you do NOT want to treat this girl amazing and you are kissing other girls at “Pink Elephant” then you should think REAL hard about not being selfish and cutting your losses before hurting the girl by cheating or worse, lying and getting caught in the end! Better to come out as the “nice guy” then as a complete piece of smelly trash.