Friday, March 16, 2007

Thong.....Or Bloomers??

Is being single in your 20s or 30s such a bad thing? Why is it that so many parents are so quick to see their children married? Is it to take them off their ATM (if you’re that child to still be on it)? Is it so they can have the gratification of being grandparents to make them feel young again? Or, is it because they got married, had kids, and did the “norm,” that they’re expecting their children to follow in their same footsteps? Does this necessarily mean our parents are, or were, “perfect role models” and that we should follow their “map” and live our lives like theirs? Or, do they just not understand how being single and out there dating often, if done too much, turns into added pressure, or starts feeling like it’s becoming another job?

Well, NO. Some parents today just don’t understand what it is like to be single, working, surviving, and going out every-other night. As my mother voices, “Don’t you get sick of going out to the same places, seeing the same people, and waking up hung-over, speed dialing Hot n Crusty to deliver you a bagel? Aren’t you tired of it?” I chuckle every time she tries to switch me over to a different way of thinking—her thinking. However, unlike many singles, I love staying in, don’t care that I’m single, and choose one or two nights, (typically Thursdays and Saturdays), to be out and about! However, parents have trouble understanding or even imagining what it is like to stroll in at wee hours of the morning after having had several cocktails, and have to wake up and be at the office before nine. That’s not to say they should have to fully understand our generation, but living in the twenty-first century, they should at least be able to “deal” and try to accept our generation’s views and lifestyle.

But, is our generation too magnanimous? Was theirs better? Maybe it was…maybe there weren’t so many singles, maybe life was easier back in their days, maybe most people today take others for granted, using their cell phones to text instead of having to actually converse. Is today’s generation so indulged and spoiled that people have forgotten how to appreciate someone or something? Living in this incredibly single, expensive, and fast-paced city where almost anything you could possibly want is delivered to your door step within an hour, are we expecting then that our relationships can be delivered as such? (Unfortunately, charging a meal, and sometimes on Mom and/or Dad if you’re still dipping into their pockets, is a whole lot easier than meeting “the one.”) Well, the ‘rents can push, pray, and sometimes still pay, or even try setting you up on a dates, HOWEVER, that’s usually not going to get you “hitched” any faster then you throwing your pants on, and doing the walk of shame out the next morning!

After a few dates with someone new, why do so many WOMEN want and feel the need to introduce this “newbie” to Mom and/or Dad? By no means whatsoever do we see most MEN rushing to bring a woman home to meet his parents. In fact, it’s just the opposite; most men usually take their sweet time to even ask a girl out, that introducing her to his family is often a painful and lengthy wait. Are most women illustrating that they are insecure of him (or themselves), therefore feeling the need for parental approval? Do they think he will view her any differently after watching how she interacts amongst her family? What goes through a guy’s head when he thought that your Saturday night was just for “2”, and unexpectedly at 5pm is informed its been changed to “4” (the 2 extra being Mom and Dad)? It was sprung on him so late that he didn’t even get that “window” for escape or be able to brainstorm some lame excuse of why he can’t join. This unexpected plan will no doubt create some unnecessary tension, and as close as you may have thought you two were getting, you may have unknowingly spun the relationship in a different direction, leading him to pull away and close up. Don’t women get it: meeting the parents and springing important things last minute without proper communication may (and often does) scare the guy away! When bringing a “date” to meet one’s parents, you’re most often saying that you want to speed the relationship up. But, the fact is, you aren’t on a treadmill or sitting with your remote being able to press fast forward. Relationships take time! The ones that usually move fiercely will most likely end up crashing and burning before the air bag even had its chance to pop. As a Maven, and after several experiences of introducing a guy to my “rents,” I’ve learned to STOP being so anxious, and under most circumstances, wait until he introduces me to his before he meets mine! Now, for everyone looking back at all the men and women you may have brought to meet your parents, was it really that important? Did it ever actually help your relationship?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you actually believe what you wrote?

And NEVER wear bloomers. They are gross!

Dating Maven said...

Totally agree!
Hanky Panky is where its at! :)