Friday, March 2, 2007

Courting a Woman

Why is it that men in today’s society do not play the “role” of the man? What do women want from men? How does a woman want a man to “pursue” her? All of these questions are highlighted current topics of discussion among society today.

Getting a man to ask a woman out the “appropriate” way can be quite the “challenge.” Men get hungry, they know they’re craving a “FILET” and have no problem choosing where to eat it, Wolfgang’s or Strip House? On the contrary it’s quite a shame they are not as able to be decisive when asking a girl out and, picking the place to meet. It’s a sad commentary, but more often then not, the man will leave it up to the woman to pick the place, therefore “making” the date!

Seriously MEN, Is this the way you should be asking a woman out? Let me explain this concept to you, WOMEN LOVE when you, the MAN, take charge and make all the date “arrangements.” THIS is very attractive to a woman! It’s not like we woman are demanding the man HAS to date her exclusively, or that he MUST take her out for a $300 dinner to Le Cirque with a bottle of “Cristal!” All we are really expecting is just a little common courtesy when planning the date with a girl; you’d think it would be as easy as remembering to go to CVS and buy your mom a card for mother’s day!

It’s a snowy Saturday night and you decide to stay in and spend your night trying to meet a QUALITY “prince” online. You log on and see the blinking icon saying you have got a “MESSAGE.” You “double click” to open your in box, and look to check Sandy out! From reading the small descriptions that are given you are able to see the majority of the profiles pretty much describe whether the girl or guy is more likely to “shop” at Saks or, H & M!

After reading his renderings you decide if he’s someone you’d like to meet. You hit REPLY and email the lad back! The emails go back and forth as you both share your interests on things you like to do; clubs vs. lounges, drinks vs. café; prefer tuna tar tar vs. escargot or Sushi Samba vs. Nobu. Optimistically Ms. Maven is hoping you both also touch upon a small amount of “substance” aside from the “B/S” to “IM” about! Undoubtedly I would be bewildered if you didn’t figure out within minutes if they are more prone to eat at McDonald’s or P.J Clarks! However, why must there be so many back and forth emails and WORSE, IM’S? Why doesn’t he just invite you to join him for a café or cocktail so you both can meet face to face? This would eliminate the numbers of emails and IM’s and leave for a little mystery and excitement for the “date!” It’s really not a difficult task MEN to make a date with a female. STILL though for whatever reason it has become a MAJOR problem and, out of the many online dating singles I asked most said, they usually talk significantly to the guy long before he initiates a “get together!” WHY IS THIS? He presumably can drink a Goose on the rocks quicker then he can ask a girl out on a date! If truth be told men, you MUST start to “STEP IT UP A NOTCH” and not a SCOTCH!

Lastly a date is made but then comes the big decision of where to meet up. Since you’ve had various conversations the girl has made it very clear, and yes men, PAY attention, WOMEN SAY THINGS FOR A REASON, THEY HINT and give out “clues”…..NEVERLESS, this time you were WELL informed SEVERAL TIMES that she is coming from the Upper East or West sides of the city and, nonetheless you STILL pick a place DOWNTOWN; which is closer and more convenient for you. WHAT?? MAJOR RED FLAG MEN and I’m not talking about the Flag hanging on Fifth Ave in front of The Pierre Hotel!

RED FLAG ALERT! Please men you must STOP and bring acting this way to a hault. Women HATE these traits with a passion! Perhaps you should try viewing yourself as a father or brother (or worse put yourself in the girl’s shoes); would you want your DAUGHTER or SISTER treated like this and asked out like this from a guy? I mean dating isn’t like planning to go bar crawling/clubbing with your “boyz!” It’s about making the effort and illustrate to the girl you’re really thinking about meeting her and attempt to show your effort by being the strong, take charge powerful man that makes decisions showing the woman you are in control! Men here’s a little tip, women like nothing more then looking forward to meeting you. They want to be able to smile, pick out a charming outfit, sit pretty and hope they are going to have a nice evening, EVEN IF no “hook up” occurs or you never end up going out or seeing each other again. HOWEVER you never know and a shocking surprise would be if you started dating and end up getting “hitched!”

See, dating provides you with many experiences of interacting with all different types of people. Hopefully by dating all types of men or women it helps to clear your vision and allows you to REALLY determine what traits and qualities that you look for, are attracted to and, admire in a partner. Dating before marriage is a true learning experience. It’s like trying different restaurants, some you’d go back to and some you wouldn’t. But remember, the first time is the “audition”, if you go back a second time it may very well not be what you had expected or thought you liked when you “auditioned.” Fortunately two wasted nights out along with a few spent bucks is better than 17 long wasted and MISERABLE years as husband and wife!

Thus, my Maven advice to all of you SINGLE MEN OUT THERE, start to do the right thing no matter what age you are. INDULDGE THE GIRL whether she is someone you meet just once, someone who you become good friends with, someone you start to “hang out & hook up” with, or someone you start to date and see where it goes. Any man or woman dating should always be welcoming, considerate, and polite. You never know where in the world this person may “resurface” or what bridges you both will cross or, if you become friends, WHERE YOUR FRIENDSHIP or “friends with benefits” will lead to down the road. You should always end a date on a positive note whether or not a mutual or sexual connection was felt. This leaves the person feeling a positive vibe about you. If an optimistic feeling is left, the opportunity for the door always to remain open is better then closed and leaving a bad taste in your memory and mouth! SO, men and women, thinking back on ALL the dates you’ve gone on. How many of you walked away saying, “this is someone who I’d like to remain friends with? And nobody can ever fully know what may surface with your date in the days, months, or years ahead.

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