PART I: THE PROBLEM

Since text messaging and emails are today the preferred forms of communication for singles and couples, is this new fad overpowering the ability for meaningful communication? Oftentimes, when writing and sending messages via email or text, things that are written and were intended to be interpreted one way are often misinterpreted. Why is this? Is it because you don’t hear the tone, or perhaps the wording is unclear? Perhaps the text was interpreted negatively, or is it the fact that a text or email is so informal that sometimes what is written is often perceived differently as opposed to face-to-face “speech.” When you’re talking to someone, it’s usually pretty clear from their tone and the progression of the conversation what the person is saying, how they’re coming across, and there is less of a chance of miscommunication. Perhaps we’re blaming modern conveniences for an age old problem and we’re using texts and emails as scapegoats, when in reality it’s merely a tool utilized by a person who just does not want to commit. Is this the underlying truth: People have forgotten how to make the effort?

Since I was coming home for the weekend, and I wanted to see my spunky sisterly-like friend, Chase on Monday, I shot her a text to see if she wanted to grab a bite or a few drinks Saturday night. She responded, “I need to get back to you because Kevin [the boyfriend] mentioned something to me about doing something Saturday night, but he hasn’t confirmed with me yet.” I told Chase to let me know, (it’s no biggie either way), and that I’d ring her Thursday on my way back to Boston to confirm. “Ok, sounds great, can’t wait to see you!”

While waiting for the plane to leave on Thursday, I phoned Chase.

“Yo!”
“Hey!”
“I’m at the airport heading in. What’s your deal for Saturday night; are we on?”
“I still don’t know. Kevin hasn’t firmed up with me, which I’m SO annoyed about because I want to see you. He mentioned having plans with his cousins Saturday night, but I haven’t gotten a solid answer whether or not we are seeing them.”
“Well Chase, for heaven’s sake, when the fuck is he going to inform you, or are you just going to sit like a duck and wait? Oye, give a sista a break, I’m dying to see you!”
Chase laughed in the phone…“I know, I know…You have no idea what a constant battle it is for him to commit to plans, and on those rare occasions he does make them, he neglects to inform me ahead of time. It’s a real issue! We’ll discuss it more when I see you! How’s Saturday during the day, can I pencil you in?”
“Yup, sounds great.”
“How about we meet 1pm, Starbucks on Newbury?”
“Ok, sounds delectable!…The plane door is shutting; I need to shut off my phone. Can’t wait to see you Saturday, Bye.”