Vanishing Friends

Oftentimes the circumstances of people are different, and therefore opinions on how relationships should be, vary. However, the one thing that should but often doesn’t remain constant is our friendships prior to our relationships. While in Boston for the weekend, my phone rang. It was Ashley. She called to tell me she got engaged. I was so happy for her and eager to congratulate them, and see her bling, that we decided to meet at Starbucks. I knew from our prior conversations that she was going to ask me to be a bride’s maid and I was right, she did ask, and I accepted the bride’s maid position.

Needless to say, I was that bride’s maid that “disappointed” the bride when I told her I couldn’t attend her shower. WELL, you would have thought I was slaying the GROOM. The guilt and grief I got because I had an exam the next day and couldn’t be there was ridiculous! The disappointment she was feeling was exactly how I felt when SHE came into New York and made no effort to get together and see me. Her excuse: too much shopping had to be done…. I’m sure everyone agrees that an exam outweighs the importance of charging on the plastic! Now everyone, please when in a relationship or getting hitched, make sure you don’t drop your friends like flies with no vocalized reason after you say your, “I Do’s”…especially those friends you felt close enough to, to ask them to be in your wedding.

FACT: MEN and WOMEN, LISTEN UP....If asked, YES, it’s a honor to be in a groomsman or bride’s maid in your friend’s wedding, BUT bride and groom, please don’t expect too much from your wedding party, and DON’T kill your friends and cop an attitude if there are legitimate reasons they can’t attend every pre or post-wedding bash. If you feel close enough that you asked them to be in your wedding, THEN make sure when married to KEEP your friendships solid, and not vanish and disappear out of your friends’ lives leaving them wondering, did I say, or do something?